When Your Inner Critic Feels Like the Enemy: A New Way to Heal the Parts That Hurt You

Let me tell you about Becca—a thoughtful, bright teenage girl I’ve supported in session (name and details changed to protect privacy). She came in feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and deeply ashamed of a part of herself that she couldn’t seem to shake. This part was harsh, relentless and deeply ingrained. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, it always found a way to speak louder.

She’s been struggling with an intensely self-critical inner voice—a part of her that seems to have its foot on the gas and the brake at the same time. It tells her she’s stupid, not good enough, not worthy of good things happening to her. It tries to influence her behavior by shaming her, silencing her, or convincing her she needs to do more, be better, or hide who she really is. This part doesn’t offer support—it pressures and punishes. And yet, beneath its harshness, it believes it’s helping her stay safe.

In our work together, we explored creative ways to help her step outside of the critic’s grip and begin relating to it differently. What we discovered was powerful: this part wasn’t cruel for the sake of being cruel—it was scared. And it was doing what it believed it needed to do to keep her safe, even if its methods were misguided.

Why Harsh Inner Critics Form (Even in Loving Families)

Parts like Becca’s inner critic is often formed in childhood. When life feels unpredictable, unsafe, or emotionally overwhelming, our inner world adapts. These protective parts try to keep us from being judged, rejected, embarrassed, or abandoned.

Maybe your nervous system learned to survive by being perfect. Or invisible. Or by criticizing yourself before anyone else could. For some, the inner critic pushes. For others, it paralyzes.

But here’s what’s true:
Every part has a reason. And every part belongs.

Judgment Keeps Us Stuck. Compassion Sets Us Free.

When we respond to these inner voices with shame or hatred—“I hate this part of me,” “I wish it would just go away”—we trap ourselves in an internal war. The part gets louder. The shame deepens. And healing stalls.

But when we turn toward it with curiosity—something begins to shift.

This is integration. This is true deep healing.

You Are Not Broken. You Are Made of Many Miraculous Parts.

If you’re constantly battling an inner critic, perfectionist, overachiever, or shut-down part of yourself, you are not alone. These parts often carry deep intelligence and love—but they’ve been operating from outdated maps.

This is the work I do with clients every day:
We untangle the mess, gently. We listen to the parts that no one ever taught you to welcome. We build safety inside so integration and true self-leadership can rise.

🌿 If you’re ready to stop fighting yourself and start healing from the inside out, I invite you into this deeply compassionate work. Book a session or explore my offerings designed for awakening, sensitive souls ready for something real and lasting.

You don’t need to exile any part of yourself.
You just need to begin by turning toward it—with love.