Awakening Through Relationships


Before our precious life began on earth, we were a form of soul energy, flittering effortlessly about the Universe in cosmic motion. In this divine energy, we purposefully crafted an image of our life experiences that would bring about our expansion and growth. We viewed a variety of centuries, family structures, demographic locations, races, etc. to determine the perfect environment for us to grow in the way our soul intended to in this reincarnation.


We have been here before - some of us more than others. Our souls intuitively know why we’ve come here, why we’ve chosen our family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships and everyone in-between.

As we learn to live on this planet as light beings in human form and integrate into our societal structures and paradigms, we come to a familiar truth… and that truth is that our greatest teachers come in the form of relational connections - positive or negative. We grow and learn the most through our relationships.

Often times, our most profound awakenings come through our intimate romantic relationships. It’s in these relationships that we end up deeply seeing the areas within ourselves that need our attention, a voice, or need love and/or healing.


The partners we choose in each chapter of our lives reflect back to us our inner state of being. These relationships can be transformative vehicles to deepen the growth within ourselves. If we are open to this development, we can become more aware of allowing the light of this expansion to soften the darker parts within us that are often triggered in these intimate soul contracts.

These relationships can be inspiring, deeply profound, physically powerful, mentally stimualting and in the same breath, be very uncomfortable at times due to the amount of personal growth that occurs within these cosmic connections.



The beauty in all of our relationships is that each one takes on a different form and energy that helps us to better understand ourselves. We have all been exposed to, or witnessed different forms of relationships. Some relationships take the form of marriage that’s rooted in tradition and genuine love, connection and happiness. Conversley, we’ve also seen the other side - people who come together in marriage who commit to stay together even at the sacrifice of their individual happiness and inner-well being.

In other relationships, the form can look different. Two people can consciously choose to partner their lives together and work at growing along side one another. They choose to consistently ebb and flow in their co-development while at the same time, providing a safe-haven for their partner to grow, expand and retract, with no attachment or need to control them or the unfolding of who they may becoming.


In another instance, we may engage in a relationship that at first was deeply satisfying and beautiful but as time went on, one or both souls outgrew the relationship and what it was offering. In most cases, outgrowing a relationship is the result of inner-growth and personal expansion which overrides the frequency of that relationship. Where both souls were once on a matched vibrational frequency, they now find themselves on different vibrational channels, making the relationship an unhealthy long-term possibility.

What we need to remember when we reflect on our relationships, both past and present, is that no matter what form your relationship is in (or was in), it is here (or was there) to awaken you and help you learn more about yourself - your needs, your wants and your ability to speak your truth. Your relationships offer a unique and important invitation to your own personal growth.

Free Will

Now, enter in Free Will. Although we’ve chosen this life and most all of our major life-experiences prior to birth, we still come into body with the Universal law that grants us free will - meaning, we have the power to choose moment-to-moment whether we lean-in to our potential for growth, expansion and inner-transformation, or whether we resist it entirely.

Some of us will choose to push away the opportunity to grow and to make conscious shifts to work on ourselves. Some of us will reject any platform to face our inner-work and become conscious of how our words, actions, behaviors and vibrational frequency impact ourselves and those we are intimately connected to.


Why? In my humble opinion, it is because taking full responsibility and accountability of ourselves in a relationship that is calling for us to expand in new and unfamiliar directions can be difficult, painful and often times, it is intense inner-work.

It can feel so uncomfortable for some of us to face these things and so resistance rises as a defense mechanism to avoid the potential for pain. In these perceived threatening type of moments, we think that it is easier to reject, deny, deflect, diminish and/or shut down to our inner-growth entirely.


The beautiful irony in the choice to turn away from our growth in intimate relationships is that we chose that exact person before we embodied to help us develop into a higher consciousness state of being. At a soul level we know this but we still have the will to choose whether we’re ready to receive the lessons that the relationship has to unveil.

And so, the lessons will wait. They will fall into our energetic field and our emotional body that we carry with us from relationship to relationship until we are ready to step into a higher frequency of awareness.

We will continually attract the perfect “teachers”/partners to reveal the lessons that are intended for us, only the next partner will presumably look different, feel different, have different interests and characteristics, but rest assured they will be the greatest potential for your continued awakening.


When you become more aware of yourself, you will see these cosmic truths faster and clearer and they will make so much sense to you, even in the little things.


The next time you’re struggling with something in your relationship, bring back your awareness within and ask yourself:

  • “What is this situation, with this specific person, helping me to learn more about myself that I’m not seeing yet?”


  • “How can I use this situation, circumstance, trigger, event with this person to increase my own awareness of how I’m showing up?”

My wish for you is to become highly attuned to yourself and what you’ve attracted into your world so that you can recognize what you need in your relationships and what you need from yourself to better navigate these beautiful and complex connections. Each experience you have with another divine soul is an invitation to grow into higher self-awareness.

As you continue to evolve and start taking total accountability and responsibility for yourself, the whole world expands and all of your relationships will benefit.


Keep seeking.


Ashley BoydComment